“…giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love.”

– II Peter 1:5-7 NKJV

Many people today find it difficult to strike a balance between contentment and growth. This can appear as a person being so content with their ‘singleness’ that they ignore the things they need to work on in order to be the right person for marriage. Phrases like “I’d rather be alone than with someone who doesn’t accept me flaws and all” support this viewpoint.

Surprisingly, they share the same outlook on their relationship with God. Rather than seeking improvement in areas where spiritual growth is lacking, they choose to remain stagnant. As we learn contentment in being single we must also strive to grow to be the best version of ourselves as marriage isn’t just about finding “the one” it’s also about being “the one”. How will we accomplish this?

First, self-awareness. This implies being able to evaluate yourself against the standards of the Scriptures, identify areas for improvement, and take deliberate steps to do so. In 2 Corinthians 13:5, Paul tells the Corinthian church to examine themselves, and that call applies to us as well.

Many believers live their lives with glaring character flaws and contradictions under the guise that that’s their nature, but that’s not true. Remember, you are not a choleric who is irritable and bad-tempered, you are a child of God who exhibits patience as a fruit of their born-again spirit (Galatians 5: 22-23).

Second, personal development. This entails being able to improve yourself externally in areas such as dressing, speaking, and so on. This is not meant to encourage vanity or locate your core identity in things other than who you are in Christ. Again, balance: as you seek to improve yourself spiritually and character-wise, strive to improve yourself physically as well. The one you’re looking for is also looking for a specific type of person.

Contrary to popular belief, marriage does not change people, but rather magnifies who they are, so now is the time to be the best you can be with the help of the Holy Spirit. Be humble enough to honestly evaluate yourself, accept corrections, and strive to improve not only for marriage, but for the simple fact that you are a child of God.

Bible Reading Plan: Genesis 40-42

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