“Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?” Amos 3:3 NKJV
Marriage is a beautiful mystery. It is the coming together of two individuals to become one, doing life together and pleasing God. However, this joining is not without its challenges.
When two individuals with distinct personalities, quirks, and different backgrounds come together to live and become one in every sense of the word, conflicts are bound to arise for various reasons. Although disagreements are inevitable, how you handle them can significantly impact the quality of your marriage. Today, we will consider some practical tips for navigating conflicts in marriage.
The first tip is to remember the fundamental rules of human interaction. It is important to treat your partner with civility. So remember to use the magic words – please, thank you, and sorry – that you learned back in basic school. In times of conflict, it is essential to speak to your partner respectfully and civilly. Make sure to actively listen to your partner and try to understand their perspective. At the same time, communicate your point of view clearly and effectively.
Another important thing to keep in mind is to prioritize working together in times of conflict, and not against each other. The goal of resolving any issues in a marriage should be to improve the relationship, rather than to prove the other person wrong. Therefore, it’s crucial to always remember that you and your partner are on the same team. The problem itself is the enemy, not your partner, and so it is important to address it together in a constructive and supportive way instead of blaming each other.
Thirdly, it is important to remember the principles of Scripture when dealing with conflict in marriage. One of the best ways to handle conflicts is to take them to God first. Prayer cannot be overemphasised, and it is important to let the Holy Spirit influence your actions. Forgiveness is non-negotiable, you should forgive just as freely as you have been forgiven (Ephesians 4:32). Don’t allow an offence to linger, as that can give the devil a foothold in your marriage (2 Corinthians 2:11).
Finally, always remember to be gracious to your partner and to assume the best of them. As a wise woman once said, no matter how long you’ve been married, this is the first time you are doing marriage with this person and vice versa. It’s important to understand that they are trying to figure things out just as much as you are. Give them the benefit of the doubt, remember why you got married to them in the first place, and let that influence your response and reaction in times of conflict.
Conflict in marriage does not always have to be a bad thing. It can be an opportunity for deeper intimacy with your partner, helping you grow together to be one indeed.
Bible Reading Plan: Matthew 6:17-34