“Now Hannah spoke in her heart; only her lips moved, but her voice was not heard. Therefore Eli thought she was drunk. So Eli said to her, “How long will you be drunk? Put your wine away from you!” – 1 Samuel 1:13-14 (NKJV).
It’s important to remember that human interactions are not immune to hurt or disappointment. It’s a common experience, and sometimes, these hurts come from the very leaders we look up to and follow. So, what is the biblical way to handle church hurt from leaders? Should believers keep quiet and endure it, or is there a godly response that balances truth, grace, and love?
In our anchor text, Eli the priest misjudged Hannah’s silent prayer and accused her of being drunk. Though his words were hurtful, she answered with calmness and respect, modelling how to handle hurt from a leader in a godly way.
When dealing with hurt from a church leader, it’s crucial to remember that leaders are human and fallible, just like the rest of us. Their failures do not reflect God’s character. Throughout Scripture, we see examples of leaders who failed God’s people and did not represent Him rightly. In 1 Samuel 2:22, Eli’s sons abused their positions and sinned against the people they were meant to serve. In Jeremiah 23:32, false prophets deceived the people with lies, and in Matthew 23:14, Jesus rebuked the Pharisees for teaching what led others astray. These hurts were real, whether caused by deliberate wrongdoing or human oversight. Yet in all this, God remained holy, faithful, and just, separate from the shortcomings of men.
If a church leader has hurt you, you can respond with both truth and respect. Depending on the severity, this may mean speaking directly to the leader or seeking counsel from other trusted leaders. (Matthew 18:15-17). Showing forgiveness in this situation, like Christ did, will protect your heart from bitterness. (Ephesians 4:32). This experience should not cause you to withdraw from the body of Christ, which means giving up on your faith and the community of believers. However, if the environment is consistently harmful and the leadership is unrepentant, it may be necessary to leave for your own well-being, not out of guilt.
Finally, if you are struggling with the pain from being hurt by a church leader, whether past or present, God’s healing is available to you. He is close to the brokenhearted and restores what pain has broken. (Psalm 34:18). Take it to God in prayers.
Dear believer, do not give up on the body of Christ, even when you’ve been hurt. Remember, God remains faithful and will lead you to healing and a safe community where your faith can continue to grow.
Bible Reading Plan: Jeremiah 23–24; Hebrews 10:11–31