“For wives, this means to submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her.” (Ephesians 5:22, 25) NLT
There is a term called observational learning where children learn by seeing and likewise imitate behaviours they observe. For example, a child can learn to wave by watching others do it. Similarly, loving and submitting biblically is not just an instruction but something that can be learned as we observe the relationship between Christ and the Church.
Marriage is an institution created by God, with specific roles and responsibilities for both parties. The anchor scripture establishes that husbands are to love, and wives are to submit in marriage. It also points us to Jesus as the standard for carrying out these roles.
How does a husband love? The Bible directs the man to love his wife as Christ loved the Church. Christ demonstrated His love through the sacrifice of laying down His life. While husbands may not face circumstances requiring a literal sacrifice, the Bible holds them to that standard of love (Ephesians 5:25).
As we reflect on God’s unconditional love shown in salvation through Jesus’s sacrifice, men should extend that kind of love to their wives — one marked by forgiveness, compassion, empathy, and sacrifice. In the same vein, there is also a command for a man to love his wife as himself.
How does a wife submit? Just as the Church submits to Christ (Ephesians 5:22-23). As believers, we see through the lens of the Scripture; that biblical submission means respecting and honouring your husband as the head, just as Christ is the head of the Church. One person we can look to learn about submission is Jesus Christ, we see Him submit to the Father’s will so we can receive salvation (Philippians 2:5-8).
The act of submission is powerful in building a marriage that embodies love and respect. Submission is not losing your voice in the marriage, but rather recognizing and supporting your husband’s God-given role in the marriage.
The words “love” and “submission” are replete in the scriptures because as believers, we are called to a life of love and submission towards one another (Ephesians 5:21). Therefore, if you relate with others as the Bible commands, these traits will naturally flow into your marriage.
In a bid to fulfil these marriage roles, your flesh may sometimes struggle with loving or walking in submission. This is why walking in the Spirit is crucial, it’s the only way you can love or submit like Jesus. Marriage requires sacrifice and we must navigate it with the help of the Spirit (Galatians 5:16).
Dear Believer, marriage was designed by God for you, and the only way to do it right is by following His standards, let His Word and Spirit be your guide.
Bible Reading Plan: Leviticus 24-25; Acts 4:1-22