“And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.” – Ephesians 4:32 (NKJV)
No human interaction that is devoid of conflicts, whether between siblings, friends, countries and of course, lovers are not excluded. This is because humans are imperfect. Even in the early church, there were contentions on how food items were shared between different tribes in the Church. It took apostolic wisdom to resolve it (Acts 6:1).
In marriage, you might not be able to control being offended by your partner, but your reaction to the offence lies in your power. Paul gives us a perspective on forgiveness as seen in our anchor text, we don’t necessarily forgive because the other party is sorry but because God has shown us the ultimate example of forgiveness in Christ. We forgive because we have been forgiven (Colossians 3:13).
In the earthly ministry of Jesus, Peter once asked Him how many times should we be offended in a day in order to stop forgiving. Jesus said four hundred and ninety times! (Matthew 18:21-22) That’s a metaphor for perfect forgiveness. Yes, it could be difficult to manage conflicts when it is perceived that a party is constantly hurting the other without significant steps to make things right. Even in situations like this, we look at Jesus, our perfect example of forgiveness.
It is expected that our relationship with God should be reflected in our relationship with men. We cannot claim to love God whom we cannot see physically, and hate men who are in proximity with us (1 John 4:20). Sometimes, the greatest test to our love walk arises from people who have the closest proximity, like one’s spouse. It would be difficult to perpetually hurt your partner or remain in unforgivingness if there are moments of personal devotion and corporate prayers. Hence, as you prioritize walking in the Spirit, you will exhibit the fruit of the Spirit which is love (Galatians 5:22).
One of the prescriptions Jesus made for resolving conflicts between saints is bringing it before the people of God (Matthew 18:17). Also, Paul in addressing the church at Corinth rebuked them for not being able to judge matters in the Church (1 Corinthians 6:1). In today’s equivalent, couples should be submitted to Pastors and Spiritual leaders who can step in and by God’s wisdom and God’s word bring order in unresolved conflicts for marriages.
God’s design is that the relationship between couples should mirror that of Christ and the Church (Ephesians 5:32-33). Therefore, we must emulate him in kindness and forgiveness.
Bible Reading Plan: Numbers 5-6; Acts 7:1-22